Submitted by ELashley on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 5:22pm.

Me? I come from hairclips,
bobby pins and Downy
scented pillows.
I’m that chick known from that
big brown apartment building that
reached to the sky
(building 12 of Rochdale).
That chick that came from the
weeded grass hidden in her aunts
backyard, seemed to always have
the smell of barbeques and burnt charcoal.
That girl that came from the pudding snacks
and sugary madness, jumping merrily.
The girl who was always hyper…
I am from Marjorie and her
ex-husbands over on that beautiful
island named Barbados.
The chick that grew up on,
“nah niggs, let’s cut school…” and the,
“you better not rat G, snitches get stitches!
‘member that…”
I’m from honor thy father and mother
that thy days may be long on the Earth.
And the sweet song of “spirit of the living God,
fall afresh on me”
Created not only by my Lord God but by
Heather and Kevin.
From the arguments, anger, sadness, and
divorce of my parents…
I’m also from the falling of my great grandmother
now in a wheelchair at the age of 95.
I’m that chick who remembers the passing of my
would have been 3 year old cousin Danae
(God bless her soul…)
Under her bed is this box of
Snapple bottle caps that tells the many stories
of funny events and when/how I got them.
There lies a scooter, rolling through memories of
the summer time air.
My bed, so soft and comfy where my mother
used to lay when I was little and scared of the dark.
That was back before the divorce, the divorce that
tore me inside and out…
I am from the moments of truth, love, happiness,
lies, and sadness…

I thought Evelyn was a happy chick

Submitted by XLiu on Sat, 11/29/2008 - 4:24pm.

Dear Evelyn

       I was amazed by your poem, “That Chick “, because to me, Evelyn was a happy chick that wonders around all the time, never did I know how much you suffered. It seems like our lives were full tragedy, but you know what? We should be proud of ourselves, we were brave enough to live through!
 
One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “that was back before the divorce, the divorce that tore me inside and out …..” the way you describe it tells me how hurt you were, I understand the pain. Though my heart still bleeds, and that was only one of those things that went wrong with my life. As a child I have to face all those problems all alone it was more than I can handle.
 
Another sentence that I pause to look on was “I’m that chick who remembers the passing of my, would have been 3 year old cousin Danae (God bless her soul…).” This stood out me because we all been through the painful time of our life, fearing someone close would do something harmful to themselves. I had never lost anyone in my life yet, and it hurts even more to know that person is alive but act dead toward me.
 
Your story reminds me of something that happened to me. Part of the memory of my life was awoke by your poem, tears, smiles, frown, all source of feeling went through my mind when I looked at your poem. There were many times when I worry about the ones I cared about, fearing that they might let their angers take over themselves and start unneeded problems. Not that the problems would cause death, and I’m sure I wasn’t really worry for them, I was just so selfish that I do not want any change in my life. I depend on them too much that their disappearance would cause changes.
 
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because you could turn sample words to life. And I just want you to know that we all been through a lot of challenges in our lives, you aren’t the only one who complains about life, in fact, do you know that you’re one of the lucky one?

 

Nice Poem

Submitted by WJimenez on Wed, 11/26/2008 - 11:42am.

I like your Poem "That Chick" because i understand where your coming from. I have ben through some of the stuff you talk about. Like when you said "nah niggas, lets cut school..."and  " you better not rat G, snitches get stitches!" I know exactly what you mean growing up with my older brother and sister; with me takeing care of myself. snitches do get stitches.

     Anuther sentence that studout was "Im from honor thy father and thy mother." My famliy is big on respect and dont punk out, so i truly understand. Thanks for your writing I look forward to seeing what you write next.
 

That was really deep!!!

Submitted by fahmed on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 2:58pm.
Dear Evelyn,
     I loved your poem "That Chick" because it was so intense. I feel like I was right there with you.
You were so open, it takes tremendous courage to say so much about your personal life to complete
strangers. My favorite line is "the girl who was always hyper" - this stands out to me because it
shows part of your personality. Its a different story whether your personality is still the same.
"That Chick" reminds me of my personality because, I'm not sure if this is what you were going for but
I too used to be happy and hyper now its kind of difficult to go back when I've grown up so much.

         Your writing is very sentimental, I am looking forward to reading more from you.

 

Thnx =]

Submitted by ELashley on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 6:43pm.

I just want to take out some time to say how much I appreciate the fact that you guys (and gals ;]) took the time out to read my poem. Thank you VEEEERRRRRYYY much and yes you all will be hearing more of my poems! I encourage others to write their own poetry. Don't write just to write but put your heart and soul into it...

Thnx again =]

Sincerely, Evelyn L

indeed.

Submitted by SFootman on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 7:23pm.

Hey evelyn!

As your friend,I can see that you put a lot of emotion and feeling into this poem. You wrote out your life so perfectly,that it touched me.

when you said "I’m that chick who remembers the passing of my would have been 3 year old cousin Danae
(God bless her soul…)", talking about something like that is hard and not many people can understand,but you still can talk about it,which makes you strong.

i would like to see more heartfelt work such as this,cause it seriously bring out your inner poet.

Dear

Submitted by tthomas on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 5:52pm.

Dear Evelyn,

                     I really like your poem. I think this brings out alot in you, and if I never knew you this poem would be perfect to desribe the type of person you are. This poem is very energitic and very real.

                      The reason why i say this poem is very energitic is because of the words you used; sugary madness, jumping merrily and nah niggs, let’s cut school. The use of word lightens up the poem. And i could picture someone saying those words to me on a everyday basis. The reason why I say its very real is because I can also tell by the words you used, that everything you said came from the heart.  When you said  That was back before the divorce, the divorce that tore me inside and out reminds me of my parents. They never was together after i was about no older than 2 years old. sometimes i wonder how my life will be if they were. Sometimes i feel sad because to me a family is concidered having you mom and dad together or having at leaste 2 adults who love you. And to me I dont think I have a complete Familiy.

                  I'm looking forward to reading another one of your poems. Keep up the work.

your piece stands out

Submitted by 14lushinge on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 9:53am.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: "That was back before the divorce, the divorce that
tore me inside and out…" I think this is important to your piece because  you talk alot about this divorce.  This sentence really tells  me  your fellings on your parents divorce.

 

= ) _--_ = ) _--_ = ) _--_

Emily L. Baccalaureate School of Global Education

WOW

Submitted by 14mijaka on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 9:52am.

YOUR POEM WAS REALLY PRETTY AND BEAUTIFUL. I LOVED IT! NICE JOB!

(*_*) Ana M. @ BSGE

AMAZING!!!!

Submitted by 14mehtan on Wed, 11/19/2008 - 9:46am.

Wow! This poem iks amazing.  Its beautiful.  It reminds me of a poem i wrote but yours is so much better.  I like the way you wrote about where you grew up and what you heard because this happens everywhere!!! The poem is soo deep and expresses good inner feeling!!! I LOVED IT!!!

 

=] *=] *=] *=] *=] *=] *=] *=]*

Neha M. Baccalaureate School

Hi.. I think I'm supposed to

Submitted by 12iakovouc on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 6:27pm.

Hi.. I think I'm supposed to comment here for my homework.

Even though it's pretty sad, I really like this poem. I was really interested while reading and you have a nice way of wording everything. You include a lot of details.. and stuff.. good job.

hey

Submitted by bzhu on Tue, 11/18/2008 - 5:27pm.

I love that poem ..it cant get any better than dis