The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent

Dear Carmen:
I enjoyed reading your post "The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent".

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is "your body is your temple, your treasure; would you share your treasure with anyone?". I like this question because a lot of people just have sex with anyone. A girl I knew would have sex with everyone. She never got pregnant but guys would talk rudely about her and she ended up catching chlamydia.

Another sentence that stood out for me was "He is someone that I would make love to because there’s a huge difference between having sex and making love". I honestly believe that since were teenagers we make mistakes. You feel like your boyfriend is the world to you and that he loves you. And of course you have sex, and to you it feels like your making love. But I think we can never really know because some adults have one night stands. They do this because they don't want a real relationship they just wanna have fun.

I kinda agree with your post because like I said, were only human. And our bodies ask for sex and your hormones are crazy. I think if you are going to have sex with someone you should know this: 1. If I think I am ready to have sex, I am ready to be mature. 2. The person that you are having sex with can leave you with more then just pleasure. What I mean is, you may end up pregnant. Aside from pregnancy there's diseases and you can never really trust a male.

He might tell you he won't tell, and the next thing you know your considered a hoe at your school.

I think trying to save yourself is very sweet. And most girls should really do it. But there are times that you will feel the urge to have sex and it happens. All you can do is learn.

Thanks for writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next because this is a really good debate (:

Michelle <3

Dear Carmen:
This writing is so powerful and true. Sex is being taken very lightly by teenagers. Viewed as something not serious, as something that gives us pleasure. I have personally have had sex with 9 teenage girls so far and I regret each one. I wish I can go back in time and keep my virginity. Waiting ti'll marriage is sure going to be worth it then having sex now.

I personally think parents are too blame. I agree with you when you said "parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children". A strong relationship with your parents can make you a stronger and wiser person. Parents were once teenagers and should not feel embarrassed to tell their kids about their mistakes. They should not feel ashamed to talk to their teenage kids about sex and how bad it is to have it at a young age. I feel like parents are failing to raise their kids right and that is the reason why teenagers give themselves up so easily to other teenagers. Maybe to fill in the emptiness they feel because they don't have that one special person to connect and talk too.

I also admire your goal to not have sex ti'll marriage. Just like you said "He is someone that I would make love to because there's a huge difference between having sex and making love". First off sense I'm a man in my case it'd be a she not he (a girl not a guy). Now that we got that out the way (haha), that is very true. Making love and having sex is a big difference. I'm 17 years and I have honestly made love before. Only with one partner of mine. Unfortunately it didn't work out between us, but that doesn't deny the fact we fell in love with each other. So always remember just cause you are married it doesn't mean is bound to work out.

This post makes me regret my past so much more. It opened my eyes more. I have always regretted all of my past sexual partners and wished I can have my virginity back. I should have just waited ti'll marriage. I should have actually think and used my brain instead of my penis. Guess we all make mistakes. I really hope you accomplish your goal to wait ti'll marriage.

This writing was very good. I enjoyed reading it from beginning to end. I agree with you all the way on this topic. I look forward to seeing your next post. Good job and good luck.

Dear Carmen

i Loved the way your essay "The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent" Because it stands out for people who are still virgins and your influencing them to do what's right , i think your a wonderful role model. Too many of these girls are getting pregnant and having multiple sex with different guys and where was the day when you would have to even win a women's heart to even just kiss them.

One sentence that you wrote that stands out for me is "I have seen, heard, and read about many children (because in most cases it’s what they are) having some sort of sexual relationship with another child. These children are sometimes as young as 11 or 12" i think this is awful because i don't know how could a 12 year old have sexual relationships and i remember one day when i was with my girlfriend , we heard this young child (A girl). Saying that she had sex with this guy that was older than her and i was saying to myself "what the hell?". These parents should talk to them and tell them it's not fun and it Is not cute or cool. If this is society now , how would it end up when I have my own kids. I would have to supervised them , until there adults.

Another sentence that I thought was very dramatic was "And one night stands? Really? Give me a break! I don’t understand how people allow themselves to be someone another person has had casual sex with". This stood out for me because it's true i know people and how they would love to have one night stands saying it feel's good and your young. Please do it when your a young adult and you know what you doing , not when your 14 years old. It just sick and it does not make you look like your a superstar. It really does not.

I don't agree with you about how if you have sex , your having sex with how many people he/she slept with . I lost my virginity to my girlfriend and were still together happy. One Other reason I say this is because i did not have sex with multiple women , just one. I think you were judging too much and thought about overall young men. There are young men who are really good people , you just got to find them.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next because we need to discuss what could we do for our community to stop this and make children back to who they were in the good old days. It will be a mystery if we could solve this dilemma.

Dear Carmen,
Your post "The views of a teenager,not a teacher and not a parent" was very intersting and i enjoyed reading your opionion towards this. I honestly think is good for a 18 year old to speak their thoughts out their and let a younger teenager realize sex isnt just sex, it has way more things to do with it.

One sentence that you wrote that really stands out for me was " Your body is your temple, your treasure; would you share your treasure with anyone?". This is a question a female should ask them selfs and think about this,girls now in days have sex just to have it and dont realize that theres more then just sex.

Another sentence that caught my attention is "Parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children". Also i think this is one of the main reasons why children make mustakes because of the lack of communication.Parents dont give them that chance to have that type of communication, so how are the children suppose to learn about things like that on their own? Learning by their mustakes is what majority of young adults go threw.! And know i appriciate what my mother and 3 brothers have always taught me and always listened to their advices.

Your post reminds me of some young female that i know, At age 15 her mother allowed her to have a boyfriend but never speaked about the consequences sex can bring. I always had to tell her what she was doing was wrong, she ended up being pregnant with her boyfriend she was with for 2 months only and then he left and never shown his face up to this day.Now she learned from mustake since her mother never paid mind to the mustakes she was going threw.

Thanks for your writting.I really look forward to seeing what you write next because i think young teenagers should have atleast one support from some one atleast by reading some ones good opionion about things like that.! I really did enjoy reading your post.!

Dear Carmen,

I very much enjoyed your post "The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent" because this is something I've been stating and trying to reinforce to all of the young women around me for YEARS. The way these girls just throw their bodies around is disturbing and it bothers me. Then they wonder why men treat women the way they do.

One sentence that stands out to me is: "At that age I was busy playing 'school' with my cousin or playing doctor of playing with my barbies". Its true. I was playing with my barbies while my best friend was busy wondering who she was going to have sex with. I just don't understand why at such a young age all that people think about is sex.

Thanks for your post. I look forward to seeing what you write next because there are a lot of females reading this and maybe you can enlighten them and tell them something they didn't hear from a parent or sibling.

Dear Carmen:

I liked your post “The views of teenagers, not a teacher and not a parent” because you really do give good enough reasons for why teenagers being sexually active is not good. I agree with that because most teens don’t really know what they are doing and they mostly do it out of peer pressure. Also some very young teenage girls thinks that having sex with a lot of different people is cool, but at the same time they are downgrading themselves and losing respect for themselves.

One sentence that you wrote that stands out for me is: “If you've had casual, impersonal sex with someone, you've never had the slightest care or feelings for that person. They were just a person you were able to relieve your “heat”. I think this sentence is true because most teenagers just have sex to relieve themselves or just out of fun and that’s bad because you can catch a disease or something by not knowing the person that your getting intimate with.

I do agree with what you have written on your post because it's true. There are many teenagers out there just having sex for fun or out of peer pressure and that is not good because there are many diseases going around and they are in the open in to catching it.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next.

Dear Carmen,

Your post, "The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent", shows that you understand how messed up we are in this generation of the youth growing into "young adults."

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: "If you are 14 or above, I highly encourage you to think over any possible consequences a decision you’re about to make may have." Good that you're telling people at that age to be aware of what they do, because recently it has grown how much teen pregnancy is in our society now.

Another sentence that I seen interest me is "If you have sex with someone, remember you’re having sex with every other person they’ve had sex with (and the chain goes on)." seems legit because people can be with anyone they want nowadays if you have money, sadly but yea they should know this as well.

I do agree with you that one night stand's ruin a females relationships, the reason i say this is because everyone talks their are no secrets and people will find out. another reason i agree is because a lot of females I know are DISAPPOINTMENTS*

Thanks for your writing. O look forward to seeing what you write next, because seems to me when you get into a subject you really like to give your full opinion on it, which is a great thing to do.

Dear Carmen

I love your post an 18 year old view on teenage sex because teenagers now a days need to value what they have and who they decide to give it to. And now a days females don't care. Not only females,Dudes too.One sentence you wrote that stands out to me is "RESPECT YOURSELF, AND OTHERS WILL RESPECT YOU". First off I have to say I am glad to know their is another female out their who value what they have. How do you expect a dude to respect you if you don't even respect yourself. Another sentence that stands out for me is "Never let pressure be what instigates you to go ahead and do something". A lot of teens get pressured into doing things they don't want to do because their friend is doing it so this statement is a good one to give. Thanks for writing.I look forward to seeing what you write next, because this is a great topic to give your thoughts on.
C.g

dear carmen

i liked your post The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent,because it gives me a good insight on where some people me stand on the general area of teenage sex.

One sentence that stands out for me is:there’s a huge difference between having sex and making love because this is something i agree with an tell my girl most of the time but the fact may be that even if you wait for marriage there still a chance that person wont be there the next day there will always be a chance of that no matter what you think to some people don't really see marriage that important anymore an it is sad.

another sentence that i noticed was:If you have sex with someone, remember you’re having sex with every other person they’ve had sex with (and the chain goes on). i don't think this is true because its kind of foolish if you think about it just because someone had sex a lot does not mean your laying with all there past boyfriends or girlfriends but if they have an std then i kinda see where that comes into play but you really should not say that because there's a lot of things that can mess up love in a heartbeat today so if some one like's one night stand an casual sex should do what they have bin doing but at the right age an with the people who enjoy it to not with someone really looking for love so i would avoid those people an it will be hard cause it's hard to tell what people are after in the world today.

Dear Carmen,

I totally agree with you with what you are talking about in this post. it really caught my eye and i honestly wish there were more girls that thought like that in this world.

One sentence you wrote that stood out for me is when you said, "And one night stands? Really? Give me a break! I don’t understand how people allow themselves to be someone another person has had casual sex with". This stood out for me because it explains how low people go and the amount of respect they have for not only themselves but their body.

Another sentence that I read was:

"Well that is my goal. I would like to because I know that the man I marry is someone that will be there the next day. He is someone that cares and loves me. He is someone that I would make love to because there’s a huge difference between having sex and making love. He is someone that would never talk behind my back. And if anything happens, we will be in it together and support one another."

This is actually a whole paragraph, but it caught my eye and I feel that you should know a guy will always talk about his girl or wife even if he loves her and it doesn't have to be to his friends it could be his mom sister or any family member they feel they can talk to.

your post doesn't remind me of anything but what i can say is that it really got me thinking.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because i really enjoyed reading this and i feel like now i can talk to my little sister when the time comes that she wants to know about things such as sex and boys i hope to read more of your stories keep them coming.

Dear Carmen,

I agree with some of the things you were saying in your post, like the fact that adolescent sex is not good and even if you are sexually active you should use protection. Also i agree with the fact that you have a strong communicating relationship with your parents and see their point of view of sex. And casual, random " One Night Stands" are nasty and not good also.

The sentence " I Wont Have Sex Before marriage" stands out most to me ....most teenagers wont wait until they're married like myself, but protection and companionship plays a well part in my sex life.

I feel if u cant and you don't find anyone that you feel as if they're going to stick around with you through thick and thin and you don't feel that they are going to be in your life for a long period of time then wait it out until you do and get married. But if you do then I think sex with that person bring you and the person closer and builds a stronger relationship between the both of you. i look forward to see what you write next because i would like to see your outlook on some other touchy subjects.

I agree with you 100% (*-^)

I completely agree with your post. This is brilliant!! I must admit I was a little crazy child myself, All tho I wasn't all that rebellious and crazy about going around having sex, i wanted to explore more and learn more and be more out there. This caused me to make some really stupid decisions that have completely marked me for life. All because i wanted to be "grown" and "cool". I don't think kids these days get how bad the things they do now can affect them on a short but more importantly a long term basis. Long term damage is the worst, trust me. Sadly we cant really do much to change these kids minds. just give theme some advise and hope they listen. Eventually they would learn the hard way. Unfortunately

I completely agree with your post. This is brilliant!! I must admit I was a little crazy child myself. Although I wasn't all that rebellious and crazy about going around having sex, I wanted to explore more and learn more and be more out there.

This caused me to make some really stupid decisions that have completely marked me for life. All because I wanted to be "grown" and "cool". I don't think kids these days get how bad the things they do now can affect them on a short but more importantly a long term basis.

Long term damage is the worst, trust me. Sadly we cant really do much to change these kids minds. just give theme some advise and hope they listen. Eventually they would learn the hard way, unfortunately.

Dear Carmen,

My name is Diamond Martinez. I am 17 and I was very interested when i read your post " An 18 year old's views on teenage sex" because it was a point that was made and well explained. Nowadays teens are not being cautious of the many different disease's that can spread just by having sex with random people numerous times.

One sentence that stands out for me is " parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children. They should try to as best as they can drill into their children what their beliefs are. And if a child does not agree and decides to be a rebel, at least they should talk to them about ways to do things correctly ( protection etc ). I think this is very important because it's a good point for the parents to take consideration of the fact that nowadays can be as young as 12 but look 21. I feel parents should explain the whole being of disease's and why it is important to have safe sex but better to have no sex at all and not with just anybody if they aren't already doing so.

Another sentence that I pointed out was " Every single decision we make has consequences that follow, some good and some bad". This stood out for me because believe it or not I live by this on a day to day basis without even knowing. But I what i do know is that teens who are having sex with multiple people is more likely to catch something from them and that's their bad consequence. The teens who actually are respecting their bodies and selves can be made fun of by what most teens would say " Your still a little kid for being a virgin" but in all reality their good consequence is that their healthy, safe and disease free. so teens if your reading this keep in mind that its best to STAY SAFE AND ALWAYS USE PROTECTION!

I strongly agree with you that teens are having sex with someone, they should always have in mind that it's also like having sex the people they had sex with and so forth. One reason i say this is because the person could have any type of disease just by having sex with someone without doing any research or not being cautious and just by you having sex with that person can cause you to develop the disease and sometimes worst. Another reason i agree with you is because teens tend to react before thinking which causes too much problems that is unnecessary. Casual sex ? I don't approve of either. Teens shouldn't be worried about sex period, for them to have one night stands is just ridiculous, especially at such a very young age. By that being said there couldn't have been any other way to state it.

Thanks for your writing. I really look forward to seeing what you write next, because the points that were trying to be made was very well explained. Not only are you stating your opinion, but you are also persuading teens to think before reacting. The way the causes and effects of teenage sex was well written. It really caught my attention which is why i wouldnt mind reading more of your posts. HEY! maybe i'll have responses for all of the upcoming posts you write.

keep up the good work :)
- Diamond M

Dear Carmen,

My name is Christal I'm 19years of age and also attend Bronx Academy.I read your blog of views on teenage sex. I would like to inform you that your blog was very true,well written and i loved it.

I always wanted to write about that topic,but i would feel like a hypocrite. I lost my virginity not to far my 19th birthday.I really don't regret it because:
1.I was madly in love with him.
2.I don't want to kill myself over something that happened that cant taken back.I'm a person that strongly believes in waiting til marriage, but i failed on my part.

"It's not only your body you're letting someone have but your mind and emotions as well".
I truly believe that and OMG! it's so true.Once you have that intimacy with that person You had sex with, you just give your all to them.We'll that's my opinion!

"When you have sex with that person your haven sex with everyone that he or she had sex with"

Well Carmen to tell you the truth I'm kinda 50/50 with that.I believe it to a certain extent.Maybe because in my relationship with my boyfriend i'm just " DISGUSTED" long story!,But us females that care about who we have sex with, how many people we did it with its plain and simply HURTS.When you're not that person you wanted to be.

Males , females we need to be careful who we share our bodies our temples with.I say "WE" because this also goes for me.There's so many sicknesses and young pregnancy happening.I'm not saying pregnancy is bad NO! pregnancy is a beautiful thing when you are ready for it.

We have to make sure that we have our education and our mind set straight.For teens that are already parents make sure you live your life for your baby and be the best parent you can be.Don't let no one bring you down because your a young parent.That should help you become a better parent.

Carmen thank you for this wonderful blog.It opened my eyes in so many ways.Keep up with this and please continue to be DIFFERENT.

Dear Carmen:
I enjoyed your essay, "The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent", because it showed me how big a role sexual intercourse plays in the lives of children as young as 11 and 12 years of age. I was also intrigued on your views on teenage sex because I myself am a virgin and I can relate to your essay.

One sentence that stands out for me is "I have seen, heard, and read about many children (because in most cases it’s what they are) having some sort of sexual relationship with another child." I think this is intriguing because it showed how much sex has corrupted younger generations, as well as replace emotional feelings for one another with physical attractions like sex.

Another sentence that caught my attention was "If you have sex with someone, remember you’re having sex with every other person they’ve had sex with (and the chain goes on)." This stood out for me because I have never thought of sexual intercourse as having sex with all the people your spouse may have had sex with. And because it is true and nasty. >__<

I agree with your opinions on teenage sex because I myself am a virgin and your thoughts like "If you have sex with someone, remember you’re having sex with every other person they’ve had sex with (and the chain goes on)."Now I know how to think of sex before marriage and how serious it is.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next. because your opinions and views on this subject are very compelling and persuasive.

I really enjoyed reading this, i sometimes use to wonder the same thing but i am not innocent i had sexual intercourse at a pretty young age so i can relate to it because they're is a lot that i have done that afterwards i wish i could have changed but it has mad me much wiser by going through all of that at 15 that now at 19 i know so much better. the part that stood out to me was "Parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children." i honestly think that if a parent talks to their child early about sex and how its basically for grown ups then maybe their wouldn't be so much children becoming parents now.

Dear Carmen,

I agree with your post "The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent," because it explains in pretty good detail the complexity of having a sexual relationship. It allows younger teens to know and understand that there are consequences to all their actions. You also elaborate on the idea of both participants being ready mentally, fiscally and emotionally also on equal terms with each other.

A statement you wrote that grabbed my attention was when you said " I feel children are trying to grow up really fast and are not appreciating or living to the fullest the beautiful stage they are currently in.” Personally I think that is a very true statement because when I look around and see how younger teens act it makes me want to reflect on my own maturity. I also think that some parents may have something to do with it. Don’t get me wrong some parents are doing a great job raising their children. But that don’t change the fact that some kids grow up thinking that they have to become this perfect child and think that being a kid and having fun is a waste of time and pointless.

Kids minds are like sponges they soak in what they are exposed to. If being a kid is what they are expose to then they will be a kid, if violence is what they are expose to then they will be violent. If “SEX” is what they’re exposed to then you best believe they will sexually active. Us humans have this weird abilities to adapt to our surroundings and match it, causing changes to our personality.

At the end, in seventh your summary you said “ If you do, do something with your partner and later on find yourself having problems that you see have no solution to, don’t be afraid to leave them. Sure you may have done something with them, but one must have dignity and self respect and know not to let oneself be walked over.” This stood out to me because dignity that word is what i believe is the most important part to this equation. Some people just lack the dignity and pride in themselves. I’m not talking about be a stuck up jerk when someone approach you. I’m saying you need to realize that you don’t need to have sex with every guy ( or girl)that ask politely or is ( funny white girl voice) “ like really, really cute~ ^.^” "o.O what..... are you serious nooooooo idiot! -_-”.

I agree with the two things you said “If you do, do something with your partner and later on find yourself having problems that you see have no solution to, don’t be afraid to leave them. Sure you may have done something with them, but one must have dignity and self respect and know not to let oneself be walked over.” Because so people need to understand that enough is enough. I also agree with this statement " I feel children are trying to grow up really fast and are not appreciating or living to the fullest the beautiful stage they are currently in.” Because I personally see children playing adult and begin thinking about having all the major questions regarding sex. Sometimes some parents aren’t prepared because they were kids themselves when they had their child.

Thanks for writing. I am looking forward to seeing what everyone thinks about this topic and what I wrote.

Dear Carmen,

I think your post was very good and true. Not too long ago, I posted something like your post. But mine was basically about why I didn't wait till I was married to have sex. http://youthvoices.net/discussion/why-didnt-i-wait-till-i-was-married-0 You should check it out because our thoughts and opinions are very similar and kind of the same in many ways.

A lot of people probably read your post and think you're either writing Chinese or you just don't know what your talking about, and that's how young girls our age are getting sick or pregnant.

One thing that caught my eye in your post was when you said: "When you have sex with someone your having sex with everyone they had sex with." I strongly agree with that, especially if you did it without protection. It's even worse.

I know some of us teenagers claim we have sex with someone because we think we are in love with that person at the moment. But after a couple of months, ask that teenager if they're still in love with that person or if they even talk to that person, they would probably look at you like if you have three heads.

Another thing you mention that I liked was when you said: "Parents should have a strong communication with their child." I fully agree with that because I feel that young teenagers do things because they feel like they don't have the love and the affection from their parents. They look for it in the wrong places, which is in sex or just going out with someone just to feel the love and affection.

I feel if some parents would take the time to talk to their child they wouldn't do things out of spite. Some teenagers use the reason: "Oh my parents never took out the time to explain right from wrong, and what you should wait for to do, and what you shouldn't do and what you should do in life."

Well Carmen, I really enjoyed reading your post I look forward for reading the next one. =)

Dear Carmen
I enjoyed & agreed with your essay The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent because sex is a big step , to anyone. Sex is a huge choice that one should make when they're absolutely sure that that's what they want to do. It's a very important life decision.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is "If you have sex with someone, remember you’re having sex with every other person they’ve had sex with". I've heard this saying before , but I'm not sure i agree with it because if a condom is worn (which it should be) then you good. That's the way I see it.

Another sentence that I focused on is "Respect yourself and others will respect you". Females these days be dirty . Sleeping with every Tom,Dick and Harry. They feel as if they open their legs they'll be accepted. It's not even that type of game.

Thank You for this post . It's a eye-opener to a lot of the dangers in this planet. Some people need to learn things the hard way. I thank you for this post . And respect you as a woman. Much Love.

Dear Carmen
I really enjoyed your post i think it was really powerful and true. You really could not have explained or said it any better. hearing things from some one within your age range exclaims things a lot better . I really think you are a mature teen because many teens don’t think of the consequence that come with SEX .

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is”your body is a temple , your temple , would you share your treasure with anyone? I think this is a really good question that will put people to think twice about.

Another sentence that caught my attention was when you said “parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children and they should try their best as they can to drill into their children what their beliefs are”. I somewhat agree however you can have a great relationship with your parents an they can tell you whatever but your going to do whatever.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you will write next maybe i can learn something else as i did from this one.

Dear Carmen,

Your post inspires me allot because it gives me straight thought who i should and should not have sex with. There are situation that i can put my self in that may and may not be good. It also inspires me now i know how to approach my friend and friends about this topic. This topic is so strong that i know why i should take thing slow and wait until we are both ready and sure we want to have sex.

One sentences that caught my mind is that stand out to me is “ your body is your temple, your treasure, would you share your treasure with anyone” I like this because if wont want someone to have sex with take whats important, you care deeply about and know he is going to leave when your done don't do it. Teenagers should hold to their values until you sure you want to share whats yours.

Another sentences you wrote that stands out to me is “parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children” parents, family members and close ones should be there because you can ask questions. They all provide evident opinions and facts. Each person will behind your back, lead you to smart paths and wont back stab your back. You should be able to trust them.

I agree with you that your body is a temple and treasure and parents should be there to talk to. It gives you time to ask questions to know the answer rather to share what you want people too see. Nothing is better then to ask questions but there is a problem to give someone your treasure especially if you know there not the one. this topic is good and i would like to hear more other peoples opinions about sex.

Thanks for writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because there is never an ens to a subject. There is more to the subject to learn, dig deeper and find the true meaning. Sex is not to be hurried but its to take time and know your doing and getting your self into. Ask questions ans always surround your self around people that will behind your back, give you answers and wont back stab you or tell you lies. This is what i think sex is about.

Dear Carmen,

The title Caught my eye, But I must say, for a 18 year old girl to Think like this is SO RARE. Especially Now in days. Sex is something that's Raising just like Pregnancy & STD Percentages. Teenagers now in days, think sex is the most important thing or most important in a relationship.
I've overheard a 12year old, talk about how She thinks shes pregnant but doesn't know who's the baby father. She went on saying how many sex partners she has, I was surprised. When i was 10-14 never did sex cross my mind.
I agree with you when you said " Parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children.", because other than school kids are at home most of the time. If parents are not talking to Their kids About protection or sex at all then, they would find those answers in the streets, even if they are wrong. Although a lot of teenagers, Have sex with their partner because they feel like its "right" or " Its time", i don't judge, I'm nobody to judge. I Also Agree with you with " 5)Make sure it is with someone you are 99.9999999% sure that they care about you", because not a lot of girls really take the time to find someone who care about them, They find somebody who cares how fast does it take them to take off their clothes. I Thank god i was one of those girls who actually took the time to find somebody who cared about them and not sex, Whom I'm actually married to now.

As you could see your post really stood out to me, and i hope you reply :)

Dear Carmen,
I could agree with your post " The views of life as a teenager, not a teacher or parent " anymore. I couldn't have written it any better if i was put to the task.
One sentence you wrote that stands out to me was " I have seen, heard, and read about many children (because in most cases it’s what they are) having some sort of sexual relationship with another child. These children are sometimes as young as 11 or 12. At that age I was busy playing “school” with my cousin, playing doctor, or playing with my Barbies ". I think this is beyond true , well on my behalf. I never thought about boys actually they were gross and had the "cooties" at that time. All i really cared for was perfecting my hop scotch or being on my best behavior so my mom can get me the new easy bake oven or skip it .
Another sentence that i agreed with was " Parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children. They should try to as best as they can drill into their children what their beliefs are " This stood out for me because either parents are being to strict or to lenient , instead of having a relationship with there child offering guidance and advice. At the end of the day parents only wants whats best but being to hard on your kid can mess your whole relationship up , and being to lenient shows you don't really care.
Your post " The views of a teenage life , not a teacher or parent " reminds me of a time i was volunteering in a youth group at my aunts job. There were many young girls there that didn't value them selves and had really low self esteem. I help guide them in the right path and till this day they claim to see me as there role model.
Thanks for writing i look forward to seeing what you write next because this post really bring my attention and i would love to see you opinion on other topics.

Dear Carmen,

Your post “The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent” is a very interesting and relevant topic to teenagers in today’s society. However, the views differ depending on the individual and there upbringing. Generally people state to avoid having sex at a young age because of the consequences; you may become pregnant, your reputation may be ruined, you may not be emotionally or physically prepared, you may catch something, and most of all you may regret having had sex. Whatever the circumstances are you must be prepared for the outcome.
Having sex is a serious step in life that takes maturity whether you feel prepared at 16 or 25 its all up to you. However, in no way would I think that an 11 or 12 year old even understands or fully comprehends sex. I mean seriously how could they?? If when people who are older don’t even fully comprehend it. Often times you hear people speaking of there experiences with having sex and no matter how active the individual is the first they will tell you is not to have sex unless you are fully prepared for all that comes with taking this step.
One statement you made that I found completely crazy is:“I have seen, heard, and read about many children (because in most cases it’s what they are) having some sort of sexual relationship with another child. These children are sometimes as young as 11 or 12.” This to me is insane at 11 to 12 years old your still a baby. Children at this age are still learning about life and how things work. As my mom says “they don't even know how to wash they @#$ correct”!
Another sentence that I found very true “If you do, do something with your partner and later on find yourself having problems that you see have no solution to, don’t be afraid to leave them. Sure you may have done something with them, but one must have dignity and self respect and know not to let oneself be walked over.”This is very true because it is all to often that you hear girls talking about how they are staying in there relationship even though there is no longer any connection due to the fact that they had had sex with the other person. However, it is not only the girls that remain in a faded relationship guys do it as well; they may feel the same exact way or they feel guilty because they had taken the girls virginity and don’t feel it is correct to leave them. This is in no way healthy to love or have loved someone is to know when it is time to let go because it is in no way healthy to string each other along. Yes you have had sexual relations with each other but that is it you are most definitely not going to be the only people that each other has sex with.

Dear Carmen,
Your post "The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent", was interesting. I agree with everything you said. These young teenagers need this type of advice.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is "Parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children". I think this is what EVERY parent should do because kids learn from each other.

Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. I always have these conversations with my cousin Miaa and Destiny, because I didnt want them to regret anything they did or with the person they did it with.

Thanks for writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next.

Dear Carmen,

I agree with your poem “ The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent” because you highlighted and expressed several key points regarding this issue in our society today. You talked about one’s decision making and the consequences that could potentially comes as a result of making those decisions. I believe that what you said is one apparent truth of this issue.

One sentence you wrote that stands out to me is: every single decision we make has consequences that follow, some good and some bad. I think that this is a perfect way of summarizing the problem that is present. People do not think about tomorrow when they make their decisions. They only think of the moment. Foolishly and ignorantly- and also blindly but not helpless. They expect the whole world to draw pity on them for the outcome of their actions. It just does not work that way. When people look at you, it is not pity they are looking at you with. They are looking down on you with scrutiny- wondering and at the same time casting judgement. Thinking less of you without even knowing you. That is the world we live in today. There are just certain stereotypes and assertions that are made automatically by people and just cannot be ”helped” no matter how much you wish it to be so.

Another sentence that I liked was “Never let pressure be what instigates you to go ahead and do something. This stood out to me because nowadays it seems like everybody (boys and girls alike) are blaming everyone else for what happens as a result of them choosing to have sex. That is ignorance truly in its truest form. Why is it that when something happens as a result of a choice being willfully made, the ones who made it can’t take and accept responsibility for the consequences and outcome of that choice? They are always quick to blame others, those closest to them but never themselves. Makes no sense to me.

I do agree with you that people should be fully aware of the possible outcome of a choice. I say this because we should consider the effects of out actions today rather than regret them tomorrow.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I like how you brought out and elaborated your personal thoughts and beliefs.

I am extrmely impressed with your post and I highly respect your opinion on sex before marriage and children growing up too fast. When I first read your post I felt as if I was reading something I would have written. I am a teenager as well turning 18 in about a month, and I agree with not having sex before marriage to the same reasons as you. I would love to see more teenagers like us, who knows how to treat ourself and how to have the most respect for our feelings and our bodies. I love how you are not affraid to state your opinions on anything, because as teenagers we have the right to say what we feel and what our opinions are. I would also like to say that just like you I agree with children growing up too fast, for no reason at all. Most people want to be what they cannot be and have what they cannot have, this is why I believe children want to become an adult, because when we grow up we wish we could be children so we don't have to make big decisons and hard choices. I am currently writting about being a good mother, and after reading your post I could relate it to my writing.

I loved your post, “ The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent “ because I honestly also believe that girls these days are rushing into things very fast, even if they say that the person they are with is their love life but I believe that’s not a good reason to have sex with them. I wonder why girls think its “cool” to have sexual relationships before marriage because half of the time the guy ends up leaving her when she’s pregnant. One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “ Parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children's” because I truly believe that parents should try to communicate more with their children and try to figure out how to help them when they need help or they are confused about sexual things. Also this sentence stands out for me because if parents have a stronger relationship with their child, they will be able to understand what they go through and the reason why they do things the way they do it.

Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time my dad used to tell me that if I had any type of question about sexuality or anything similar to tell him, because he was my dad and he would understand why I would have those type of questions. My dad also say that he have been through that, no matter what I had to say he would understand it.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what your write next, because I see that you understand what most teens go through. Also knowing that you are a teen makes me understand more about what teens do at this type of age.

Sincerely,

Daisy :]

Dear Carmen Cecilia,

I enjoyed reading your post “The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent” because I believe that everything you had said was true. Us kids at this age always think about doing new things, and sex is a big part of that. One sentence you wrote that stands is “These children are sometimes as young as 11 or 12. At that age I was busy playing “school” with my cousin, playing doctor, or playing with my Barbies.” I think this is true that girls and boys are being sexual at this age because when i was in 8th grade during middle school i saw 6th grade girls being pregnant . It was shocking for me because these girls were barely 13.
Another sentence that I was interested in reading and think about is when you said “I wish i would of waited for the man I married” This was interesting because when i really think about it, it’s actually better. Waiting for the man/women that has your heart to have sex with; things will feel so comfortable, but that is just my opinion.
Your posy reminds me about something that happen to me. One time i was about to, well . .this is kinda of personal. So one time i was about to make a bad choice, at first you are ready to do anything but when you really thinking about it, that's when it gets you. When you do do it, you regret it.Also if you do, there are consequences for everything.
Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next,because i really like how you expressing your feelings and you aren’t shy to let them out. I believe that if you keep writing teenagers would get advice on what and what not to do.

Dear Carmen,
I enjoyed your post "The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent," because I agreed with many things that you stated. Honestly, I respect you for putting this out there and expressing yourself very accurately. One sentence that stands out for me is:"Parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their child." Many parents don't at least try to speak with their children. At times they just push their child away, especially when they hit their teenage years. Adolescents need guidance, love, support and a sense of security.

Another sentence that I observed was: "Ever single decision we make has consequences that follow, some good and some bad." Many teens don't think about the future; however, many like to live in the moment. There's nothing wrong with living in the moment, but at times
it can really bring serious complications to your life. Not a lot of teenagers think about the consequences, let alone what they'll do if that unwanted consequence happens.

Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time I was talking to my friends in advisory. We stumbled across the topic of teenagers and sex. As intelligent females, we spoke about it with maturity and said everything that was on our mind. All of us agreed that a person especially a teenager should never rush into sexual activity. Like you said "...your body is your temple, your treasure." I know for sure that we will all agree with this and take it into consideration on what you have to say.

Thanks for your writing. You have great writing skills and I love how you accurately wrote about this topic. Keep on writing because I know people love it. Stay writing the truth.

Sincerely,
Genesis

Dear Carmen:
I enjoyed your post, “The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent,” because I see that you based everything in your opinion and a lot of things you said that cause my attention very quickly. One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “Parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children.” I think this is true because parents are the only person a child should have a big relationship or communication with. Also that parents should show their child that they care and they will alway be there for them and let them know that they could be their best friend. Another sentence that I enjoyed was: “Every single decision we make has consequences that follow, some good and some bad.” This stood out for me because any good or bad decision we make they all have consequences at the end. Also that we should always think twice about our decision because we don’t want to regret it in the past. Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next.

Dear Carmen,

Your post "The views of a teenager,not a teacher and not a parent" was very intersting and i enjoyed reading your opionion towards this. I honestly think is good for a 18 year old to speak their thoughts out their and let a younger teenager realize sex isnt just sex, it has way more things to do with it.One sentence that you wrote that really stands out for me was " Your body is your temple, your treasure; would you share your treasure with anyone?". This is a question a female should ask them selfs and think about this,girls now in days have sex just to have it and dont realize that theres more then just sex.

Another sentence that you wrote that stands out for me is: “If you've had casual, impersonal sex with someone, you've never had the slightest care or feelings for that person. They were just a person you were able to relieve your “heat”. I think this sentence is true because most teenagers just have sex to relieve themselves or just out of fun and that’s bad because you can catch a disease or something by not knowing the person that your getting intimate with.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next.

Dear Carmen:

I am intrigued by your post, "The Views of a Teenager, not a Teacher and not a Parent," because as a teenager living during this time I am faced with these situations often. Not only did I read this post by you but I also read the one you previously posted about the same topic.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: "I have seen, heard, and read about many children (because in most cases it’s what they are) having some sort of sexual relationship with another child." I think this is interesting because when I was between my preteen years and my early teen years I would always think of myself as a grown up. I would consider myself a young adult, but as I matured I realized that even now I am still a child. If I consider myself to still be a child at the age of 16 and still depend of my parents for almost everything then why would I engage in adult activities.

Another sentence that I enjoyed was: "Remember that it’s not only your body you’re letting someone have, but your mind and emotions as well (as corny and cheesy as that may sound)." This stood out for me because many of my peers would read this statement and actually think that it is ‘corny’ but I think it is genious. If more teens would be aware of this and care more about themselves then this entire problem would subside.

I do agree with you that we should wait until we are married to engage in sexual intercorse. One reason I say this is because it prevents the risk of unwanted pregnancies and diseases. Another reason I agree with you that waiting until marriage makes it more special and not only prevents physical damage but it can prevent the emotional damage it can bring forth.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because you follow up with your posts as time progresses and you acknowledge the fact that over time people change and so do their opinions.

If you have sex with someone, remember you’re having sex with every other person they’ve had sex with (and the chain goes on). This line really stood out to me. I think this line is not only powerful but very persuasive in making teens think about this whole idea of having sex versus making love. This topics is so complicated and hard to grapple with particularly when you are a pre-teen.
The idea about having conversations and dialogue with your parents would be essential in the decision making process.
Thanks so much for posting and writing about this sensitive and timely topic.

Dear Carmen,

I am impressed with your post "The views of a teenager, not a teacher and not a parent.” I agree with what you and to say on your post and I understand completely as to where you're coming from since I myself is a teenager.
One sentence you wrote that strongly agree with is “I feel children are trying to grow up really fast and are not appreciating or living to the fullest the beautiful stage they are currently in.” I feel like children nowadays think they are grown and can think that they always know what’s best for themselves. For example, I remember when I was in the 3rd grade and my mother and teacher kept pushing me to do my ELA classwork and homework, but I was too lazy and kept skipping ELA class. As a result, I was still able to pass ELA class, but had to go to summer school for failing the ELA state test. It was the worst summer ever!
Another sentence you wrote that “Parents should have a strong relationship or communication with their children.” I feel like parents should try to communicate and understand where their child is coming from. If parents keep yelling at their child them for making dumb decisions, then they’re never going to listen to you. Children are complicated and you have to make them comfortable enough for them to open up to you.
I enjoyed your post and I look forward to seeing what you write next. Reading this post me realize how ingrateful teenagers/children can be sometimes and they should appreciate every advice they're parents give them.