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Insecurity: What causes it, and how to Help it.

Discussion
Feb 27, 2012
by: harniy

Everybody has a weakness or something that makes them feel like they’re imperfect, or they need to change. One of the main feelings that I believe is causing this is insecurity. I’ve always thought that it meant not being too sure of yourself or feeling shy, but I learned that its much more than that. Based on en.wikipedia.org/wiki/emotional_insecurity its a feeling of unease or nervousness, and could be triggered by feeling vulnerable in some way about oneself; self image or ego. To be honest, I didn’t understand what feeling nervous had to to with it, but it could tie into the feeling of being shy. Its not easy to relieve yourself of insecurity, but there are things that could help. Finding out what the core is to our insecurities for example; money or beauty, can help to determine what we need to focus on.
An insecure person can lack confidence, and may want to isolate themselves from the rest of the crowd. Insecurity can also cause shyness, paranoia, and sometimes: arrogance, aggression and bullying. Insecurity can also be caused by wanting yourself to be a certain way; self image. Sometimes, when we have pictures in our minds about our “ideal self”, its incredibly difficult to accept the way we are; to accept reality. You could also start to feel like suddenly everyone around you are so much better than you. I’ve felt this way on numerous occasions, and I still do. What some people need to realize is that you can’t just get rid of insecurity that easily; its personal. Even though other people don’t see why we’re insecure.
Based on www.pathwaytohappiness.com/writings-insecurity.htm, to build our self confidence and and self esteem, we need to change how we feel about ourselves emotionally, which can be difficult. Changing our emotions requires two core beliefs about self image. Sometimes we feel that we,re not good enough, which is a feeling I'm very sure that everyone has at least felt at one point in there lives. This could deal with money, intelligence, confidence, or sexuality. The second belief is to change the image of success that we feel we should be. When our mind has an image of perfection, it associates it with a picture. Then your mind compares reality to How you think you should look. This results in self rejection when we don’t meet the image of perfection. The second belief we need to get rid of is the fact that we feel we're not good enough. This belief creates the emotions of insecurity and fear. The image of “not being good enough”, is part of our imagination. We have to recognize that we’re the ones observing the self image. We can’t be the image that we’re looking at. Having this view can help change our point of view and maybe even the belief about ourselves.
Our minds, at times, can mislead us, preventing us from improving our self confidence. People are constantly trying to boost their self confidence by trying to become that “perfect person”. This can lead us to believe that we have to be perfect,which is completely false. When we become aware, we can avoid trying to reach perfection and we can focus on what makes a difference in the way that we feel. Change begins with the thoughts in the mind. Insecurity is not easy to overcome, but with advice and changing your point of view, it can definitely help to make it better.

Comments

Insecurities

Submitted by turake on Sun, 2012-03-04 13:53.

Dear Niya:

I loved your post, “Insecurity: What causes it, and how to Help it,” because many people have insecurities about their self-image or ego. It’s actually quite normal for a person to not understand what insecurities are, even though we hear that word a lot in today’s society. You have a great mind-set about what is necessary for you to be able to move on and deal with your insecurities. Many teenagers end up isolating themselves from others because of their insecurities. Then, they feel that they do not fit in anywhere, and this may cause them to feel like outcasts. One sentence you wrote that stands out to me is: “Insecurity can also cause shyness, paranoia, and sometimes: arrogance, aggression and bullying.” I think this is important because many teens bully or tease others because of their own idiosyncratic dilemmas.

Another sentence that I found interesting was: “This [comparing reality to perfection] results in self rejection when we don’t meet the image of perfection.” This stood out for me because I think this something that many need to consider. A lot of teens end up disconnecting themselves from valuable relationships, friendships, and other interactions because they feel as if they could never be accepted into society. This is because many of them compare themselves to others who look ‘perfect’ on the surface and find that they could never be of such standards.

Your post reminds me of my friend’s situation. One time I had a conversation with my friend about her health. She told me that she felt that in order to pursue her modeling career, she would have to lose about 20 pounds. At the time, we were both models, but my body seemed to be more proportioned compared to hers. She always thought that the others girls were better than her, but in my eyes, she was gorgeous and deserved to be a model. She was blessed with beautiful green eyes and long blond hair, but she did not feel worthy. If more teens try and find the source of their insecurities, then there would be less bullying and suicides.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because your topic is something that I can closely relate to. I hope other teens start to think about their insecurities and find strength behind what hinders them within. I cannot wait to see your progress and how your view on your insecurities may alter as you mature.

Response to: Insecurities

Submitted by baetir on Sun, 2012-03-04 18:02.

Dear Niya,

I liked your post, “Insecurity: What causes it, and how to Help it.” because I was interested with your logic of the topic. Also I appreciate the ways you expressed your opinion about the concept and feelings as well as ideals towards the concept.

One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “Everybody has a weakness or something that makes them feel like they’re imperfect, or they need to change.” I chose this sentence because I agree no one’s perfect, but experiences something that causes them to try and change their persona. It’s as if they encounter a judgemental situation that makes them feel vulnerable and shameful.

Another sentence that I liked from your post was: “An insecure person can lack confidence, and may want to isolate themselves from the rest of the crowd.” I chose this sentence as well because I strongly agree with you about how insecure people tend to isolate themselves from most of society. Also how the shy and quiet ones tend to be the most uncomfortably insecure people.

Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time I felt insecure because I lacked in one class than the rest of my classmates; which caused me to feel uncomfortable. I tried to be unnoticed and just try to focus on my academics. Now if I feel any type of insecurity I’ll talk to someone to feel some what relief and advice on how to solve the situation. Analyzing myself from back then, I can say I’m more secure and confident than before. Although there’s always gonna be a time I do feel insecure no matter what.

Thanks for your writing. I can’t wait to see what you write next, because I enjoy your opinions on things and your thoughts as well. Also because it’s obvious you’re a great writer who shares her ideals and is honest with reality. I would like to see your views on other certain topics of your interests from your point of view.

I Love it ;']

Submitted by herdai on Sun, 2012-03-11 15:33.

Dear Niya :

I am touched by your post "Insecurity: What causes it, and how to Help it." because I like how you expressed your opinion about the topic. One sentence you wrote that stands out for me is: “Everybody has a weakness or something that makes them feel like they’re imperfect, or they need to change." I think this is interesting because no one is perfect everybody has its weakness, that makes them feel insecure about them self even if they don’t show it.

Another sentence that I loved was: "“An insecure person can lack confidence, and may want to isolate themselves from the rest of the crowd.” This stood out for me because I myself have insecurity on lack of confidence, and I isolate myself from the rest because I feel like I don’t belong there.

Your post reminds me of something that happened to me. One time, well all the time I feel insecure on how I look and everything, sometimes I just think I’m not pretty enough for other people.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I would like to keep reading your interesting post.

Sincerely,
Daisy ;]

Dear Niya, I am very

Submitted by dormah on Sat, 2012-03-17 18:24.

Dear Niya,
I am very interested by this post “Insecurity” because is something that I have been interested in learning more about and also I agree with your statement, many people feel insecure because they think that they are not good enough to fit in their environment.

One sentence you wrote that I like was,” Everybody has a weakness or something that makes them feel like they’re imperfect, or they need to change”. I like this sentence because many people want to be perfect for others and at the end I think that they just end up hurting themselves.

Another sentence you wrote that I like was, “An insecure person can lack confidence, and may want to isolate themselves from the rest of the crowd.” I like this sentence because people feel insecure when other people make them feel insecure.

I really think that people should read your post because you have a lot of good information about it.

Thanks for your writing. I look forward to seeing what you write next, because I enjoy reading your post and it was interesting.

Niya

Submitted by nicoleburnett on Tue, 2012-04-03 16:41.

Niya, I really enjoyed reading your post. You have some really great words on this situation and it's really helpful reading your ideas. Dealing with insecurities is something everyone goes through and I like how you're not scared to put that out in the open. You post could really help us all, and we could help each other with this knowledge. I'm really glad I read your post, and I look forward to reading your other posts.